It was quite obviously going to be a complete waste of timepursuing this line, so, as usual, when I had a problem, I talked it overwith Dorothy. I rem...mber that we were sitting in our favourite position,one night; feet up; the shop shut; holding hands by the fire, andchatting about the day."Dorothy, love." I ventured, and she gave her usual "mm?" ofacknowledgement."I still want to do something about this new photo brochure.Have you had any idea who could be a model for us?"Her reply staggered. I sagged to my knees, my hands still clutching that railing. I felt ... wasted. Empty. Alone. I looked up at the sky, but I didn't really see anything. I didn't want to see anything. I felt ... impotent.It wasn't a good feeling.Calm. Relax. Quiet. The words scorched through my brain, but they had no meaning. They were just sounds, noises I had once heard.Calm Relax. Quiet. The words held no power over me. There was no center for me to find because there was no me. I had finally lost it. I was. More

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