He never does any more. There was a time when one look at me made him very hard, and one look at his bulge made me unzip him and suck him hungrily. Bu... those days are long gone, due to his descent into mad obsessions about perceived wrongs done to his family decades ago. But Frank (my husband) did say something: “Don’t forget to get me a 12-pack of beer before you get home tonight.” I let into him. “You haven’t had a job in 9 years. You sit around the house all day moping or you go drinking. We couldn't stop arguing through any kind of reason or agreement, and I began to withdraw. Retreat."The waitress bustled up, her arms lined with plates. The interruption gave me the opportunity to see that I was teetering on the brink of dumping my insides to a complete stranger, of exposing a flaw and a weakness I found difficult to admit to myself. Huge issues of trust and vulnerability began to gather about my thoughts like dark, heavy clouds. I'd gone to church only as a means of dabbling. More

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