“Oh god.” That would be Her Highness.“This is all your fault.” So would that.“Now ... I didn’t make you,” I said.“No ... but you let m...,” She said.“But ... you’re so tiny.” That would be me. “I never thought you would.”“You’re so tiny,” was repeated a lot during the photograph session after the successful endeavor.An ominous belch from the royal.“Over the side, Junior.” I said that... “I don’t want to see it.” And that.“Shit ... too late.” Definitely me.“David. You’re in her way.” Junior said. In fact, it's the opposite- for your own good, and because it's my place, I will be in charge, and you will follow my house rules. The biggest rules for you, Mom, are that you will be a more responsible parent to Tricia, which means that you won't smoke, gamble, or work too late at the doctor"s office.You will come in by 6:00 every night, make sure she does her homework, cook us a family dinner once a week, remember to obey me as the head of the household, and always call me Ted, not Teddy,. More

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