I have no one to whisper to. I have lost again and look away with eyes full of remorse and hurt and that glint of fear. Fear of the pain? No…more ac...urately described as fear of failure. What kind of mother will I be? Hands explore a surface so hard and round and promising, feeling that pulse of life within, wishing I could look like this forever and have someone to whisper to. And then the pain came, and I wonder why I was not in fear of it. Pain like a river, a waterfall, an earthquake…pain. The girl was so sweet, almost innocent in a way. She had fallen for Matt because she was inexperienced in love, not completely emotionally mature. And now Lissa was going to risk destroying her.It's for her own good, she told herself, but she was hardly convincing. In truth, it was to justify her own vanity. This had become a challenge, and the new Lissa never backed down from a challenge.Still, it felt like a rotten thing to do to a good person. She could try to rationalize that Alya deserved. More

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