I need to become moreindependent. But transition has made me alone. My only ally is Cesar, whois unreliable, unemployed and uneducated. He is not toug... enough tosurvive on his own, much less to protect me. I need to find someone tohelp me through this most difficult of transitions.I am on the toilet, pushing out the residues of my encounter withAntoine. Antoine forced me, but had I provoked him? He's probablyregaling his gang banger buddies with his account of it now. They'replaying ball, and. Around 10:15am I decided to call Becky. After everything I had thought about the last few days, I needed to talk to her. I wanted to see her, too, but if I did, I’d be violating the permission Jennifer gave. I was only free to see her and have sex with her so long as there was no promise of the future.“Hi, Becky.”“Hi, Steve. What’s wrong?”She figured out something was bothering me from just saying ‘hi’? What was it with the girls I loved?“I’ve been thinking about you and missing you.”“You could. More

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