I was so bloody miserable then."The following day, Monday, was Albert's funeral. I expected it to be a grim affair and so it was. It revealed the sad ...ut perhaps unsurprising truth that Albert had indeed been a man without friends. Mr Lucas the solicitor put in an appearance but apart from him I was the only mourner unconnected with Albert's employer. Even my precious Wendy let me down. She had booked the day off but on Friday one of her colleagues had kindly gone sick and left her with some. The package would be here in like thirty minutes. I was so excited and could not wait to try the new toys out. I fixed myself a light breakfast and about twenty minutes later the doorbell rang. I went to the door and Fed Ex had left the package by my door. I was so excited. I went into my kitchen and opened the box. There were the two vibrators I'd ordered. I was so excited to try the Hitachi Magic Wand out first. I opened the box and went upstairs to my room. I occasionally would watch myself. More

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