Several times in this narrative I alluded to our having an “open marriage.” That wasn’t the complete truth. Open marriage, in my understanding, ...s like a swinging lifestyle. Each partner was free to have sex “in the open” with no recriminations, or jealousy. Truth again, every time I thought about MaryAnn fucking or sucking Vince I would get physically ill. Maybe if I had embraced the lifestyle like the Maddens, I would still be married to MaryAnn. Who knows?MaryAnn’s slimy lawyer would not. That’s not being flakey or being weak, he surmised. It was simply judging the fear of what would happen if he didn’t cooperate with a system that didn’t allow him to ascend beyond the number of his name. It was the fear, he figured, that was the main problem in his life—the fear to question, the fear to offend, the fear to tick someone else off, the fear to get involved in the lives of others, the fear to speak his mind or else suffer some fantastic punishment that the system certainly. More

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