Mom ... MOM! Would you be quiet for just a minute and let me tell you why I called? ... Thank you! Are you sitting down, Mom? ... You are ... good. Th... reason I called is to tell you that I got married. I'm in Vegas and I got married last night ... Yes, Las Vegas ... No, it wasn't a church wedding. Mom? Mom, are you still there? ... Because there wasn't time to arrange a church wedding; I didn't want to wait! ... No! She's not pregnant! I just met her last night! Mom? Mom, are you still there?. Neither of those two possibilities appealed to me.The real problem was trying to get around telling her. She always had this way of seeing through me. I swear she had some special "mother vision" when it came to reading me. I think she let me get away with a few small lies and falsehoods just so I would think I pulled a fast one on her. She probably knew I was lying every time I tried. The only way to get this one through was to come up with a half truth that had just enough of the truth in it. More

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