I'm trying to learn as much as I can. Dobby and I are planning an excursion somewhere where I can practice them. I wish I could do that here.I've been...reading the Occlumency book as well. It actually describes something. All Snape ever told me was 'clear your mind'. That was so helpful. (You'll have to imagine the sarcasm as you read that.) Anyways, it says I need to build defenses in my mind. I've been trying to build a wall, but it is really difficult. And I somehow doubt it will hold up. Than he told me that he hates fags and want so much to beat me up and make me feel pain. Next he asked me with what I fuck my ass and I told him that I do not have toys and I use veggies, fruits, objects. He told me to peel off 3 big bananas and to cur them in small pcs. Than he forced me to shove all pcs in my ass. Than he told me to tape my ass, so to be sure that none of the banana pcs will went our. I felt very uncomfortable standing on cam like that. Than he told me to sit and asked me. More

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