So we hop in his car and drive about 30 minutes to a nice secluded spot on the edge of his parents farm. He goes to the trunk and gets out a picnic ba...ket. i see a samll cooler and ask him if he wants me to carry it. He says no.. that is for later. We walk to a really pretty area and toss the blanket. He had bought chicken, potatoes, and mac salad and a nice bottle of wine. We ate and drank the wine. We laid back was was doing some petting... kissomg and rubbing.. He was so hot by this time.. I appreciated the gesture, I had relied on Ryan greatly, and faced many challenges without him. Joel kept the yard in perfect shape, took the trash out, and even helped with my daughter. It was nice having help, but after I had stopped grieving Ryan's death, I found myself craving a different type of help from Joel.Now, by no means was it an overnight decision. I cried, cursed, and begged God for answers to why Ryan had to die so young for nearly ten months. After the grieving, it took me. More

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