The advert read ‘Mature housewife seeks young man to help work out masturbation fetish – only genuine need apply’. As a genuinely desperate 20 y...ar old (not quite a virgin, but thinking about sex all day and all night) I plucked up courage to answer, and was rewarded with a letter and then a phone conversation with a lady called Kay, inviting me to meet her. And so here I am… I get off the train, move past the ticket barrier and look for a white Ford Granada. I can’t see it at first, but just. I'm sorry, I'm still new at this. So anyway, I completely freeze up when confronted with having to pick out my nail polish. My brain, puny as it is, just decides it is going to shut it's damn self down and it felt like I was standing there in front of my vanity for five hours or something waiting to decide what color nail polish I was going to wear. Ridiculous, I know, but that's the way I am. "So anyway, finally, I just reach in and grab something and it turned out to be okay because it was. More

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