The maid service would do the cleaning and change the sheets tomorrow. Showered, nice to have the bathroom to myself for a while hit the bed with a be...r buzz and fell asleep without the need for a wank.Awoke to an almighty crash I though a earthquake had hit, however the light in the lounge/hallway was on and I got out of bed and though a tee on. I’m not sure if I was surprised or not but standing over my mate who lay where he landed was the saggy titted whore from last night and a second I. Like when you’ve broken your leg and the plaster is on and all you need is a good scratch but you can’t, all I needed was a good shag. I heaved myself off the bed, got dressed in a loose maternity dress and waddled downstairs. As I got a coffee and walked outside the neighbour, Mr. Wood, was having his garden cleared up, as I watched I noticed his gardeners were two young lads I thought ‘God I need fucking’. They approached the fence and one said “Can we use your toilet the old man has gone. More

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