I was certain Matt would tell her, so I assumed they had at least grudging permission. Maybe a weekend alone in that big house would have some affect ...n her thinking.I told Terry what had happened at the meeting and he was all for having the boys at the cottage that weekend. He wasn't able to be there, but said it would be important for them to get away from the hostility and tension at home. We talked about the possibility of them staying with me if things got too ugly at home, and he had no. It was a year since I'd had any kind of physical pleasure or release, not even decent exercise. My last days with Sarah had been too fraught and tense to enjoy each other. Our first night on the run really might have been my last good time, forever. During those first seconds in what was to be my home and hell for the next four years, just about the only thing I didn't think was that the very appetites that Margaret had nurtured within me might save my life, that my thorough S&M training would. More

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