" "Take it slowly," Lisa tried to persuade, "you are new to this existence thing. It is harder than you think." "No I am not!" the deity replied, "I a... the prime mover, remember? I am older than the universe, older than existence itself. This is not the natal ennui you mistake it for. This is my mid-life existential crisis and you have imagined me to be infinite in time and space, I am two billion years into it already and because I am fucking prescient, I also know that I have another ten. The mule was a valuable animal and I was but one man. They probably assumed I'd just stumbled upon them. The angle of the hill made their progress slow, but they wore no armor and only carried short-swords. "More vassals," I thought.The raiders swung their swords around their heads trying to frighten me and I snapped a nail into the nearest man's eye, the next nearest one catching one in the throat. The last two men paused a moment in confusion, giving me time to snap two nails into their. More

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