Now there are a lot of good people out there still and they are amazing people my father was one and I don't even come close to him but I do the best ... can any given day and sometimes I don't do so well but I move on and look at the next right thing in front of me well most of the time I like trouble and chaos to much So here is what I came on here to say all my life I have struggled so when I beat alcohol 27 years ago I found I had to do something positive to keep me going and motivated I was. Waiting for the machine to heat up, I stretched and yawned. Cupped my balls for the sake of it. Two spoons of freshly ground. A blessing for the night owl, a curse for the bon vivant. Moderation, my ass. Same goes for alcohol, apparently. “One sugar for her. Sweet tooth, I’ll take two. Screw the purists. Life is bitter enough as it is. Stir.” A flood of late winter sun bleached the back of my skull. It had a sound to it, not a nice one. Squinting for survival. The neighbor scurried hurryingly. More

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