Grief is like that for so long. It ambushes with the slightest hint ofmemory. All it takes is a flash of color, a particular smell, a brightclear co...l day like so many other spent in particular company. Thewalls come down and the world spins away from under you leaving youstranded in space, hovering in an airless void in which you suffocate.Or at least you feel you might. And if there was any justice in theworld, at times, that would be a merciful end. After April, Ben had been discharged. I went along cause it was kind of exciting, and then over a period of several months I realized many of the guys were older. some of the older guys were pigs but a few were god to me. I enjoyed talking to some of them cause they answered questions about sex for me and weren't always pushing for me to meet up with them. the local web provider had a local teens sight and there were some kewl k**s there, but most were adults trying to act like teens. I enjoyed some of them again but tried to stick. More

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