He also encouraged me to have it done telling me how hecouldn't wait for me to be a complete woman for him. He also alludedthat we could be boyfriend ...nd girlfriend for real afterward. To mycredit, it took him a long time to convince me to have the surgery. Iknew then that everything else might be able to be undone, but thesurgery made it permanent. There would be no going back after that, andthe fact was that in spite of everything, I was still attracted towomen and not at all to men.As much. ’ I made a red heart with the jelly. I knew I’d get a smooch when she saw that. Only, I wondered why she didn’t chuckle back. She was quick witted and always said something to make me laugh. She couldn’t still be sleeping. Was she mad at me? What did I say now? I was always saying something without thinking first. I was always blurting out something stupid. Sometimes, I was so insensitive and I’m sorry for that, now. I wish I could tell her that I’m sorry for whatever it was I said, only, I. More

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