He stared at the picture and then his eyes went vacant.“I can’t find her,” he said. He sounded surprised. I was definitely surprised. He hadn’... really struggled with any of the others, though he said some of them were very far away, and felt faint to him. “I can’t find her,” he said, again. He turned in a circle, as if that might help. I glanced through the article and felt chills run down my spine.“You can’t find her because she’s dead,” I said. “The article is about the accident that took her. Or I'd open the cabinet door and see the extra large serving platter we bought one day, just so that we could eat off the same plate in bed or on the couch, and I'd remember how we used to swap the spoon or fork back and forth and feed each other straweberries or grapes with our fingers and laugh. And then I'd have to duck into the bathroom and sob my eyes out. How could a woman I loved so god damn much do what she had?But then the sadness gave way to anger. I'd look over at her, sitting in her. More

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