Without the support from the ball-bra, it would feel asthough you had a bag of sugar hanging from each testicle.'I shuddered.'OK,' she said. 'Tell me ...xactly how all this happened.'And I did. Simply telling it all made me feel so much better, whilst shequietly listened, without criticism or scorn at the way I had falleninto their trap. At the end of my story I told her, 'You're anincredibly good GP. Why did you give it up and turn to research?'The question took her by surprise, as she'd been. She doesn’t want him to know, doesn’t want anyone to know. No one needs to know her pain, no one needs to carry her burden, no one but her. It seems like she is trying to keep him at arm’s length, or pushing him away with all she has. When in reality she doesn’t know how to let him in any more than she already has. To let him in any father would be to not know. As of now she has let him in as far as she has let anyone else, so she know how it will feel if he was to disappear, to let him in. More

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