"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see...the front of my pants!"From the back of the plane, a passenger yelled"For the love of God, you should see the back of mine!"This one is compliments of AnonymousA married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the. "We also have winter in Russia." I'm not sure what happened. I'm usually a good driver in these conditions." I am glad we are fine," Anna responded with a smile.I immediately called for a tow. I tried a couple times to move the vehicle, but it just wasn't possible to get any traction with everything covered in ice. The car in front of me was also in the ditch about a hundred feet away. From what I could tell, the driver appeared to be moving around and in satisfactory condition.At least we were. More

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