I realized the reason was I hadn’t thought about it. There is a process women follow to plan for the ‘most important day of my life.’ It starts ...n childhood, but does not reach the detail level until we become aware it is a possibility. After all, you don’t even know who he is going to be. You’ve been dating him for a while and at some point you realize he will make an acceptable husband, maybe even better. He hasn’t even considered the possibility yet. But you start to evaluate your friends.. Journal - Oct. 1 - It's Friday night and I just had a drink (actually, four) with Bonny. So now I'm over my embarrassment and I'll write what I couldn't write last night. I'm getting to be an old maid! I'm almost twenty-seven and I've never ... well, I'm not going to write that. I'm not that drunk. But I'm an expert at masturbation. I wonder if the real thing is better? (Is a coke bottle 'the real thing'? I ought to try.) But, ever since Uncle Bill touched me, ten years ago, and got me all. More

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