. I don’t remember what I chose.2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask...for sex, she objects.4. Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings...”5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.7. There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try. "Step Two. We are going to check the horses. Since we've overslept by two hours and nine..." She threw up a hand to catch my chin as I tried to look over my shoulder and check the clock. "I won't lie to you, Uncle Randy." Sorry. I know. It was reflexes, not an accusation of incompetence."Cheryl has the most beautiful smile, even when one side of her face is pressed down into a pillow. "Since we've overslept, then we won't make the horses wait any longer by wasting time getting dressed. Except. More

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