I’d like to be your bitch boi tonight,” replied Jeremiah. “Oh yeah. I’ma use you like a real fag. You down?” “Yes sir. I’m down.” “D...t’s wassup. What you look like? “I’m about five foot ten,” Jeremiah lisped. “Dark skin. Weigh like one thirty-five. With a bubble booty.” “Yeah dat’s wassup, bitch. You really wanna be a nigga’s faggot?” “Yes sir!” “I like tha way you say dat shit.” “Thank you! What’s our name?” “I’m Kon.” “Cool! I’m Jeremiah.” “Look, you mobile,” inquired the thug. “Yes, sir,”. Yes, wine is definitely on my mind and, more importantly, is in my glass sitting enticingly alongside my impatient laptop. It is an invitation I have no intention of declining. Perhaps that could be my status update: “Hi world, just about to demolish a bottle of cheap, pink plonk … gosh, I’ve earned it”. Or the alternative: “Hi world, have taken up smoking because life’s too long.” Or: “My tiny world of happiness imploded spectacularly at 3.17pm and now I am going to drink and smoke myself into. More

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