Shit, I thought. Buddy, my new friend, will probably think I'm some kind of homicidal maniac.The rural police showed up before anyone else. "So what h...ppened?" the blond young woman in the black fatigues asked. She came to the door with her gun drawn. I was unarmed and still in my sleep outfit which was mostly nothing."My open door alarm woke me. I knew someone was in the shop at 3 AM. I got my shotgun and waited to see if they came upstairs. If they had simply robbed the store, I wouldn't have. Fifth wedding anniversary gifts are, by tradition, made from wood, but I realised then that she couldn’t give a wooden nickel for our marriage. An odd expression that I’d picked up from an American film, I beg its pardon, I mean movie, some years ago.Sadly that expression seemed very apposite. I’d already bought her a necklace with an absolutely exquisite gemstone that was a cleverly polished piece of petrified wood, suspended from a solid gold chain. Together they had cost me about £350.. More

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