The biggest thing in my mind was that Chris must hate me. He must hate me for what I'd done and that made me feel so dreadful. It felt like the end of...my world.All that ‘entertainment’ with Dean and Jay was just that— fun, it wasn’t a life. Chris and our home was my safe place and suddenly I’d wrecked it— except Chris hadn’t thrown me out.I couldn’t fathom what was going on with Chris. His ‘display’ had taken hours to plan and organise, there was a passion behind it that was typical of Chris.. I was thrilled for her, but also a little freaked out. We were both the same age and, up until then, we had been mostly equal when it came to our development as women. Though I honestly believe marriage is a waste of money and children are the best way to lose your identity as an individualdont get me wrong, I love kids, just as long as they belong to someone elseI could not help but feel jealous. Whats more, having a friend with a child made me feel old. Of course, I know twenty-five is far. More

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