“Oh dear,” I murmured so only Collie could hear me.“Matt was my first,” Beck said. “He was my sister’s first. Neither of us have had bad s...x. Neither of us have ever had so-so sex or good sex or great sex. The only sex we’ve ever had is the kind that’s so intense that we pass out. We’ve both had to be carried to the shower afterwards. We keep smelling salts on our night table.”It was kind of surreal sitting there on the grass in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday watching my fourteen year. I wouldn’t regret our time together it was what I always pictured it would be and more, but to keep it going would be reckless on my part. And in the end I would be the one to be hurt by the inevitable outcome. No, after tonight we would go back to the way it was, even if it meant me having to yearn from afar. Evan could be the one to leave me completely broken if I ever became completely vulnerable to him and as much as I would love to risk that, I just knew I couldn’t. I looked in the mirror. More

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