Elise and I hadn't believed it when our parents had told us we were going to have another exchange student living with us. Mom and Dad had tried it tw...ce before, with disastrous results. Our first guest had been Keiko an annoying, enigmatic Japanese girl who seemed to hate everything about America, except the food. She had been a little chubby when she arrived, but by the time she left nine months later, Elise and I were calling her Godzilla. Instead of admitting defeat, our plucky parents. Please take seats.’ Two responses of ‘yes, Master,’ and Charles clicked his iPad. Yolande, the latest apprentice, appeared, naked but for a collar of used tampons around her neck. ‘Yes, Master?’ she said as she slid to her knees. ‘Drink orders, slave.’ ‘Yes, Master. Master? Mistresses?’ ‘This is truly tedious, slave. Lady Nadine is your mistress. You are to address these others as ‘Ladies’.’ Charles gave her a quick slap with Ruffnex Mizzou ’56, a wooden paddle he’d acquired (‘Would you believe. More

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