Kids stepped aside to allow her passage like extras in a Sergio Leone spaghetti western. Squinting down the hill like Charles Bronson, she rubbed raw ...acon on the steel for an additional layer of turbo-powered fun and then she was off as on-lookers gazed on like slack-jawed yokels. The story would be told like Tolkien tales for decades to come of how this quiet elementary school teacher went careening down the slope like Clark Griswald. Only her profane screams prevented this from becoming an. Mrs Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had worked while making the toys. The reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. To make matters worse, they had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and had crashed it into a tree. Santa was furious. “I can’t believe it! I’ve got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours – all of my reindeer are drunk, the elves are on. More

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