Finally, a selection of diamanté body art tattoos to decorate my wondrously exposed décolletage, buttocks and pubis and I was the yummiest, scrummie...t, glitteriest, concentrated party adult ever. And so I wiggled and wobbled on tippy-toes out of the house and round to Candy's clutching her beautifully packaged, 'it's a surprise', birthday present. But it was me who got the birthday surprise for who should answer the doorbell but, OH MY GOD I can't quite believe I'm going to write this, Mr. "Did you just say 'Crapplemuffs'?" Kerri tried to sound shocked. "Isn'tthere some sort of law against putting words together like that, Suz?Crapplemuffs?" "Just take a bite, okay?"Kerri bit into the muffin. "Mmm! These Mapplecruffs are good! Bravo!" That's Crapplemuffs!" Suz growled. "Honestly, you're spending way toomuch time with that wise-ass boyfriend of yours. You're starting tosound just like him. Say! Where is lover boy?" He'll be here any minute. He wanted to stop off here to see. More

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