“One of these days you’ll have to do that to me,” he said “Just so you know what it’s like?” “Yes. I had to really struggle against imag...ning the flogger hitting me, shying away from it, wishing it would stop.” “It didn’t feel like that.” “I found a trick. I got angry with myself instead.” “It worked,” she said. “It has to be hard enough to feel out of control. I have to let go completely. If it’s not hard enough it just hurts but there’s no rush. What about the rest?” “The dressing up was. He had never seen such a look of anger and determination on his mother's face.She met Cody's eyes when she continued with, "Honey, when you were off fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, I expected to hear that you had been hurt every day. Every time the phone rang or someone knocked at the door, I had to fight to keep from crying. I wasn't always successful. I was afraid for you and helpless to do anything. Now, you are telling me that you're going into danger again. I understand why you need to. More

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