I nodded and gripped his hand, adrenaline flowing through me.“Alright…on three…” Paul instructed again. “One…two…three!” I used all of...my strength but his arm wouldn’t budge! My arm was literally shaking I was trying that hard.“Okay…just listen kid, I’m going to make you an offer” Paul said as he watched me struggle fruitlessly. “You can leave now and we’ll drop the girl off in the morning. At least this way you won’t have to see what we do to her.”“Fuck…you!” I snarled, pissed off at how smug. It just cracks me up when I imagine how the reader has to go back and read something a dozen times to try to figure out what the fuck just happened, and who the hell Ralph is. If you don't want to change the women's names, just change the color of her nipples, or make her have a big nasty bush in one place, after she was shaved clean in another place. You won't get bored and neither will your readers.You get the most interesting feedback too.Vocabulary: One of the best ways to write really bad. More

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