Yes, ma’am, this IS the maternity hospital, but no. We don’t have any return policy.How can you tell if your gas station attendant used to be a po...n star?When the gas starts coming out, he pulls out the nozzle, and sprays it on the windshield... You think of pirates as being all smiley. Actually, they’re all Somali... I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got run over.Inside a Russian woman, there’s another Russian woman.I was in the park the other day, watching a man feed the birds. After. Two days, versus the rest of yourlife. You know, an engagement ring is supposed to cost you two *month's*salary, for heaven's sake."How the hell had he known how much I make? Still... "All right, all right,sir, but I'm definitely bringing it back if it doesn't work. And I don'treally expect it to, but--" Dane? Honey, are you okay?" Oh, crap.Jennifer was looking at me, looking at the fork I'd been twirling in thesalad for the last few minutes.I apologized and muttered something about having a. More

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