While we were chatting, he mentioned he was always looking for new, original compositions for his 'real' band, a 39-piece orchestra that was currently...between tours. I told him about my roomie Mary and the competition she had won. He smiled and told me to have her send him something to read. After getting the name of the hotel he was staying at, I excitedly dashed home to tell Mary."Who?" She asked, again, her gray eyes big and round."I never heard of him, either," I explained, dunking a cookie. You can keep fucking Steph if you want, but you'll have to keep it secret for at least a couple of months." Oh," he said weakly. "OK." Tell me, did you cheat on Janet with anyone else?" Umm, well, yeah. There was..."I waved a hand. "Spare me the details. I'm afraid that for the present that will have to stop. The fact is, you are going to be impotent with everyone except Steph for the next six months. You won't even be able to masturbate. In fact," I added, struck by an inspiration, "the only. More

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