She followed right behind me. "Buck I need to make sure that this urine is yours and not anybody else. I am a professional and have seen many men and ...omen go before. Relax and this should only take a few seconds. Then I can leave and you can go back to being on welfare." she said in a stern manner. I grimaced and barely could talk. I just looked at her in the doorway with her tight red dress and matching leather boots as she stared at me. I normally have no problem going but a pinch of stage. God how I wish they could walk for one day knowing what I know, feeling what I feel, feeling that life within me as it lives and moves and grows. I stare back to unsettle them, unblinking, unforgiving. They look away but the whispering continues. I have no one to whisper to. I have lost again and look away with eyes full of remorse and hurt and that glint of fear. Fear of the pain? No…more accurately described as fear of failure. What kind of mother will I be? Hands explore a surface so hard. More

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