I remembered one of my first memories. I must have been four of five, inside the cell, it being all my world. I was afraid of something, maybe insects... maybe the darkness of my bedroom, maybe something else. Hopelessness and Cat’s comforting voice keeping my sanity together are the two things that stand out most when I think of the memory. I believe that was when I realized I didn’t like my life as it was, when I decided to change my life. The cell meant hopelessness, lack of power, being. They had been drinking for quite a while and they were now loud, trash talking, and talking dirty as hell. Most of the conversations were about how men weren't shit and wait until they could treat a man, like they had been treated. It was almost like I wasn't there, they were so free with their comments. Her friends were a smorgasbord of women, tall, short, voluptuous, and slender. And I could imagine a fantasy with every single one of them, but I knew it was Renee that wanted me as her. More

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