I don't have a problem with minor typos and more obscure grammatical errors, but you should always use capital letters at the beginning of a sentence,...for proper nouns, and the word "I". Try not to use tense shifting, it's one of my pet peeves. Tense shifting is when you start a chapter in one tense and suddenly shift to another at a random point for no reason. As a general rule, this story is in present tense, unless you are using a flashback.Keep in mind that this story should be in second. We all looked on not believing what was about to happen. Zoe put on some music and he began by taking off his black vest type top, god he had a fit body! We all grinned and were getting exited, Next he took off his trainers and socks followed by undoing his belt and unzipping his black jeans, he looked at us and said are you sure you want me to do this, we all nodded, he proceeded to take off his jeans, he had a pair of black skimpy CK briefs that showed off all the contours of his. More

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