A snail-trail of snot clumps the fine, dark hairs on my forearm. There's a tentative knock on my door. Thinking it will be my mum, wondering where I'v... gotten to, I mumble an acknowledgement. The door opens and I stare at my shoes, sparkling from the over-zealous polishing my uncle gave them yesterday. I hear a barely audible cough. “Adam? Sorry.” I look up, a bit taken aback not to be hearing my mum's voice. Instead of her standing there, there is a boy. A boy awkwardly poking his tousled head. A virgin? Could any of the women my wife knew be virgins? Holy crap, I thought, it could be Virginia – she was shy and plain enough to be a virgin, I supposed, and she was still single. But then, I kind of hoped not. Frankly, Virginia was kind of ugly... Still, a virgin would be nice..."Don't worry," my Wife said, proving once again she could damn near read my mind after all these years of marriage, "it's not Virginia..."At that there was a short burst of giggles, which stopped. More

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