If he didn't want me, there were plenty of other guys who did.I missed my period in December and again in January and I knew why. My life seemed to be...spiraling out of control. I was smoking over a pack of cigarettes a day, smoking pot and drinking every day, shoplifting whenever I wanted something, doing Ecstasy every weekend at parties and at times snorting coke just to keep up with Rachael and all the demands from guys wanting sex.I couldn't go anywhere without guys coming on to me. Our. “M’s” face rested against “J’s” chest; my cheek pressed against “J’s” knee.“What are we gonna do?” “J” nearly cried and everyone immediately understood. Our mutual desire filled the room, almost suffocating us with it’s heaviness.“Well, what are the rules?” I chimed in.“J” said, “No talking, for one. I’m not gonna give you or ‘M’ a chance to ruin this.”“Shut up,” I replied halfheartedly. But I knew “J” was right. Given half a chance, I would have found some excuse to worm my way out of what. More

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