’My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.I’m so ugly I stuck my head out the window and go... arrested for mooning.The other day I came home early and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, ‘Why?’ He said, ‘Because you came home early.’My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.I know I’m not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.My wife is such a bad cook. In my house we pray after the. "Yes, Sir. Yes, Trey. I will be right down, Sir." she muttered.Immediately, Julie closed her cell phone and began filling a glass of water for herself in the kitchen."Julie? What the heck happened? Why are all those marks all over you?" I gasped, becoming disturbed."What are you talking about?" my wife asked."Th-those marks all over your face and arms. You're covered with them! What the hell?!" I snapped.Julie rushed into the bathroom to look at herself in the mirror. I noticed her first look. More

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