When we were alone, I asked her how sex feels as a woman? Shetold me it feels wonderful with the right man. I told her If it feltwonderful, I would ra...her have sexual feeling as a girl than no sexualfeeling as a male. If that was the best option, I told her I wouldprefer to remain male, but felt that I could also learn to live as agirl if I had to.The next morning, I was wheeled into surgery, I awoke sometime laterwith my mother standing in the room wiping my face with a wet towel.When she saw. Every July she expected Vladik to punish her severely."July 12 means a lot to both of us. That's the one day I have a chance to face what I've done, and really suffer for it. I have a lot of bad memories, stuff that sometimes keeps me up at night ... and when he's finished whipping me, I don't think about all that shit. All I'm thinking about is how much it hurts. I'm just thinking about the moment, and nothing else. Anyhow, when I'm on the table I'm only getting what I deserve. I don't know if. More

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