Tension. Formless, headachy tension. It slowed my morning run to a plodding waste of time. On returning to Martha's I was too listless to fix breakfas.... I ate at a coffee shop, staring at my reflection in the mirror behind the lunch counter and trying to connect the way I looked with the way I felt. I looked calm. I felt so confused and lackluster that I couldn't even identify the problem. I knew I should have felt elated after the previous night. I thought about Martha, Martha on her way to. ." Did I prove it?" Oh yes!"He put my hand on him, but I yanked it away, then I kissed him back. Theword that I really was a girl would reach his parents, probably hisfather, and my troubles would go away.For the next two months I became Janet every moment I wasn't in school,and it became widely known that Jack was dating a new girl that nobodyseemed to know. He and I kept it that way for good reason. About a weekor so after the dinner with his parents, mom got a letter from Jack'smother. More

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