Without the sexual lubrication of alcohol I was a lousy lay.It is a forlorn feeling to realize that nobody in the world cares about you. That you are ... footnote in other people's lives. It almost drove me to drink. Again.I needed a job and I considered becoming an accountant again, but that was beyond boredom. And I would have to clean up my act. I was still in my overseas hippie mode: blue jeans and flowery wrap-around skirts, meshy blouses, sneakers and sandals, no noticeable makeup, and my. And I stopped. I pulled out of Riley immediately, and spent a few seconds fighting off my near-orgasm, Kate and Riley sounding as if they were doing the same. I took a deep breath, my heart still racing but slowing down. I saw Riley lift up her head and gasp for air, and I saw Kate's jaw unclench. Then they both turned to look at me. "Why did you stop?" Riley asked, half pleadingly, half angrily. I wondered that myself for half a second, before I heard a loud smack in the room and my hand. More

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