“Your condition as a virgin is admirable but will not help you in the search. Since your ultimate partner may find that important, she has designed ...his gift. Here is how it works: first, you will experience no discomfort when your maidenhead is breached, second, you will not conceive for the duration of this gift, third, your maidenhead will regenerate after 12 hours and be completely restored by 24. There is only one condition to this and that is that if it is ever breached by the same man. Maybe you groped in a group on a raunchy Saturday night, or snuck in a friend when mom and dad were away. Maybe you hid your drugs or your guns or your money in the closet. I say it now: You should have turned off the lights and closed the curtains all the way. A crack is all we need.I can't begin to relate everything we saw and frankly much of it is mundane. But there are a select few tales I think are worth telling, of nights when the promise of our skulking was fulfilled. Don't worry, I. More

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