How could Iabandon all that I had been? I came to realize I hadn't.Intellectually, I was still the same person, doing much the sameroutine. The packag...ng was different. The perceptions, both internaland external, were different. The emotions also were different; inpart, due to the hormones. Over time, my perception on a whole was oneof gain, not loss. Remember that hot fudge sundae? What if you couldeat from it every day, never lose your taste for it, and never gain anounce?Upon returning from. I am caught in a moment of memory, my mind whirring back to a time I was a child, where my father would usher me along the same, the small of my back, or the nape of my neck as if to say, ‘Run along now, go play with your friends.’. This isn’t my father though, but as I try to turn and see who it is, a hand swiftly pushes my face forward. Not so much as a glimpse of the stranger behind me. Suddenly I feel the muzzle of a gun in the small of my back. ‘Don’t turn around. Keep walking.’ A gentle,. More

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