“I know you are West End but provincial theatre is definitely on the up and if you invest a bit of effort now you could do yourself no harm at all.�...�I have never been part of the Metropolitan elite. I am a country girl and love England’s rolling terrain, but theatre in the styx? I remembered touring with ‘Dole Queue’ all those years ago and performing in scout huts and village halls and shitty pubs. The audiences were usually made up of elderly matrons and sometimes we could barely be heard over. I wanted a classy touch when I was sealing the fate of the guy who had managed to seduce my wife.When the head Feeb saw what we had, he straightaway removed the poker from his own ass and forthwith transferred it in red hot fashion to each of his underlings. He said, “I want this thing sewed up tighter than a mosquito’s asshole by tomorrow morning. And I want James Murphy dressed in orange and in ADX Florence sooner than that. Do you understand what I am saying to you?”The five minions all. More

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