We went into the living room and I found the coffee table piled highwith presents, all wrapped in pretty pastel paper!"Who are these for, Mommy?" Well...they're for you, precious. I know your birthday is reallytomorrow, but I wanted to surprise you and celebrate ? just us two!"I was really excited!She sat right next to me and handed me a box wrapped in yellow paperwith a matching bow."Open this one first!"I carefully undid the bow, and unwrapped the paper. Mommy smiled at thecareful way I was. . no, it couldn't be. The thing resembled a chrome-plated dildo or possibly a butt plug. Hey, c'mon fella, wake up! That incense must be going to your head!I was really curious now, and moved in for a closer look. The faceplate on the device proclaimed it as a custom-built specially enhanced "High Voltage Static Electricity Generator." And what's this? "Caution: 2,000,000 volts!" That's two million, count 'em, two million volts!Now she was offering that chrome-plated dildo-like gadget to me.. More

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