You felt just as happy the second time, but fought off the tears. You would not let anyone see you weak, you could be stronger than them always, or so...you thought. Now that they are yours alone, you realize how lonely you have been your entire life. How without even knowing it, you have been searching, drifting really, lost without an anchor. Your life had no real course, nothing that made you look forward to the future. Was it just as much your fault as anyone else’s? Had you built so many. If the notion turned tits up, it will leave me frustrated anyway. Slipping from the covers, I stuck my feet inside my slops and head out to the patio. My mind was made up; a cigarette was what I needed. Feeling around for my shit, I slipped the key in the sliding door and as I touch the pack of cigarettes, the lock turned and I slid the door open. A step or two had me exposed to the cool March air. Though it being three am, it was not really cold. A slight movement of air reminded me I was. More

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