5 Variation Law If you change queues (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.6 Law of the Bath Whe... the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.7 Law of Close Encounters The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.8 Law of the Result When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, IT WILL!!!9 Law of Biomechanics The severity of the itch. Alan stole some cigarettes from the local paper shop, and we decided to smoke them behind the bike sheds at school. Bad move as the school caretaker (janitor) caught us and threatened to take us straight to the Headmaster. I cried and blubbed and begged him not to, promising that I would do anything to avoid that, so anything it was! I found out almost 40 years later, from Alan that it was all a set up, the caretaker had arranged it all with Alan but no one could have known where it would. More

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