" What? I am a man." No, dear, you're not. If you were a man, you wouldn't be allowed inthis house. You're a sissy." No, I'm..." Trust me, dear. A gir... knows. It doesn't bother me. I love you forit." Why can't you love me as a man?" Men have hurt me too many times to give them another chance. I need asissy to worship me, not some guy to take me for granted." I wouldn't take you for...." I know that, but that's because you're a sissy. We could go throughthis whole charade of you being a man even. Then I started screaming.I shouted as loudly as I could, calling God every name I could think of,using more swear words in this speech than I had used in the sixteenyears previous. I think my idea was to get God so mad at me he'd do whatI couldnt do the night before and end my life.By the time I was finished speaking, I was hoarse and my face was wetfrom tears.Then something amazing happened.It's hard to describe, but it was like I was no longer looking at acloudy sky, I was looking right at. More

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