Reluctantly, after they had demolished half of her entry, they each sheepish, took a drink of water and moved on to the next entry. Quickly they taste... and went on to the next. Pa chuckled at the judges' antics. "You know, Davy, they surely had trouble making up their minds about your ma's meatloaf. They must not have liked it, they left almost half of it uneaten." Walter, don't make light. This is a serious occasion," Ma fussed at him. Her face was drawn up tight in concentration as we watched. When he brought me home, after three boring hours of watching other couples have a good time, he kissed me on the lips with all the enthusiasm one would display when kissing a bag of potting soil. But enough about the distant past.At the beginning of the events of this tale, I was 'Bitter, 40 and never been fucked'. It's actually easy to accomplish that when you combine a wan complexion, oily facial skin, a bulbous clown nose, Dumbo ears, bodiless frizzy hair, rheumy eyes, coke-bottle. More

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